Kicked Out
by LilMissNightCrawler
Summary: Who would have thought that the simple task of boiling a kettle could cause all this? R&R please ^^


Mmkay. I dun own DragonBall/Z/GT or any of the characters, I never will own DragonBall/Z/GT or any of the characters, so if you think that I'm trying to say that I do, then you can go eat an aerosol. ^^. I'll put a li'l asterisk (*) next to anything I do own, just so you know. [.] = Author inserts. [The fikku takes place just before the Buu saga, but Goku's alive in this one.]  
  
Title: Kicked Out Part 1  
  
By: Katy  
  
Email: ChibiKaty@AOL.com/FlanIshEevil@Hotmail.com  
  
  
  
'Oh my GOD! How in HELL did you DO this Goku!?' Chi-Chi positively screamed, 'Our HOUSE!' Both Chi-Chi and Goku stood, staring at the blazing remains of what used to be half of their house.  
  
'I'm sorry, Chi-Chi! I didn't mean to! It just~'  
  
'GET AWAY FROM ME!!!' she shrieked as he tried to put his hand on her shoulder. 'DON'T EVEN TOUCH ME!!!'  
  
'Look, it was an accident, Chi-Chi! Really! I didn't mean it! I'm sorry!'  
  
'Well THAT helps, doesn't it!? You're SORRY! Everything's majestically back to normal and good as new, just because Goku's SORRY!' Goku tried to speak again, but Chi-Chi wailed, 'What did I do to deserve such a curse of a husband.'  
  
'I~!'  
  
'It's bad enough he hasn't got a job.'  
  
'But~!'  
  
'How is Gohan going to study and become successful in school NOW!?'  
  
'I di~!'  
  
It went on like this for another twenty minutes, Chi-Chi cursing and wailing, screeching and shouting, throwing insults at the man who, less then an hour ago, was doing the simple task of boiling a kettle. Who would have thought that water could cause so much damage? Or it might have been the fact that he spilled the contents of the kettle on a couple of plug sockets, tried to mop it up and electrocuted himself (and the curtains somehow), setting the kitchen wall on fire. The fire had started to spread, so Goku searched for something to put it out, without Chi-Chi knowing what he had done. He looked in the cupboards and started rummaging around for something to extinguish the fire, and came across an aerosol with a little picture of a fire on it, the words, 'EXTREMELY FLAMMABLE' underneath.  
  
'I don't have a clue what "flammable" means, but a picture of a fire is on it. that must mean that it extinguishes fires! Yeah, am I in luck or what!?' he had said to himself, shaking the aerosol vigorously. He stopped shaking it, took aim and fired, (well, sprayed) causing the fire to sort of explode, singing his eyebrows and hair, burning his clothes and well, everything else in the kitchen. He had run out, his head on fire, grabbed a rather confused Chi-Chi and ran outside.***  
  
'You've done some stupid things while I've been married to you, Goku, but this has got to be the worst!' Goku felt distraught. Chi-Chi had never ever been this angry with him before now, and he felt there was no way to fix it. Their house was half-gone all because of his stupidity, and so were his eyebrows.  
  
  
  
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Half an hour later Gohan came home with Goten, who he had picked up from Capsule Corp. The looks on their faces and reactions they had when they saw what had happened to their home, were pretty much as expected: Gohan just stood there gaping at it, mouth wide-open; Goten's eyes widened so they were perfectly round, and made a faint croaking noise in the back of his throat, not able to speak.  
  
'Kaa. Kaasan! What happened!? Where's the rest of our house!?' Gohan croaked to his mother, still gaping at the slightly flaming pile of blackened rubble. 'How on earth..?'  
  
'You can blame that stupid IDIOT of a father what happened! It's his fault we now have only half a house! Him and his stupidity,' Chi-Chi said, pointing a shaking finger at Goku. 'Well I've had enough, Goku, I'm going over to Bulma's. You can camp out in the woods for all I care,' she finished, got in the car, (which she didn't have a license to drive) and took off with her clothes and possessions that hadn't been in the once- standing kitchen.  
  
'.Tousan?' Goten said, looking up at Goku. He didn't reply, he just stood there looking hopelessly at the scene.  
  
'Come on,' he said finally, 'you'd probably be better goin' to Bulma's like Chi-Chi.  
  
'But I wanna camp out!' Goten said. Goku raised his barely- visible eyebrow.  
  
'.Why? You don't wanna stay at Capsule Corp?'  
  
'Naw, I wanna camp out! We've never been camping before,' he replied, 'it looks like fun! And we can't exactly stay here.' It was true, even if half of the house wasn't there, the other half was full of smoke and ashes.  
  
'Are. are you guys sure?' He looked at Gohan.  
  
'It's fine with me, I'd rather camp out than listen to Kaasan moan and whine about this.' he gestured towards the smoky building.  
  
'Well. if you're sure you wanna, then I guess I could use the company,' Goku grinned.  
  
'Alright! This's gonna be cool!' Goten said, when they sensed someone coming towards them. '.Trunks! It's Trunks, Tousan!' The purple-haired 8- year-old landed, stumbled slightly and looked at the smouldering pile of ashes.  
  
'Whoa. cool!' he said and turned to Goku, 'did you do this!?'  
  
'I. uh huh,' he said, putting his hand behind his head.  
  
'Well Chi-Chi's at our house now, and said that you're stayin' in the woods,' he continued, 'I was wondering. can I come too? Pleeease!?' He smiled all kawaii at Goku.  
  
'Yeah! Please Tousan!? Trunks could uh. help out? He wouldn't be in the way!' Goten pleaded.  
  
'You mean you all actually wanna come with me? You wouldn't rather stay in a house than the woods?' They all nodded. 'My God. you guys are crazy! But okay, if it's alright with Bulma, Trunks, you can come,' he finished.  
  
'Woohoo!' they both shouted.  
  
'Arigatou, Tousan!!!'  
  
'Okay, right. We better get our stuff outta the place before it all goes up in flame.'  
  
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An hour or so later, they all had their stuff, (Trunks had gone to get his from C.C.) and were more or less ready to go.  
  
'Trunks, are you sure that Bulma said it was okay for you to go?' Gohan asked. Trunks shrugged.  
  
'I dunno, I asked Tousan,' he replied, grinning. 'I knew he'd say it was okay cus it'd be gettin' me outta the house for. .how long does Chi-Chi hold a grudge?'  
  
'Too long.' Gohan replied, beating ash from his clothes. 'One time, I forgot to do my algebra homework and I wasn't allowed to even look out of the window for nearly a month.'  
  
'.Okay. So we'll be outside for about.' Trunks counted on his fingers, 'six years, 7 months. .Oh crap.'  
  
'Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no, oh CRUD!' Goku shouted suddenly holding his head in his hands.  
  
'What is it?' Gohan asked.  
  
'NONE OF US KNOW HOW TO COOK!'  
  
They all looked at him.  
  
'AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!' screamed Goten.  
  
'I knew I should've taken cookery instead of gym.!' Gohan said to himself. 'How the heck are we gonna survive without food!?'  
  
'Waitaminute! TOUSAN CAN COOK!' Trunks said. 'He forced himself to learn so he wouldn't hafta eat kaasan's food!'  
  
'That's great!' Goku said.  
  
'Hello! This is Vegeta you're talking about! Is he likely to actually volunteer to live outside and cook for us!?' Gohan said as the others looked down in disappointment. 'Sorry, but I don't see it happening.'  
  
'Unless.' Goku thought to himself for a while. 'Yeah! Hey, I've got an idea!' They all looked at him in disbelief. Goku? An idea? You've gotta be kidding! 'What if we get him kicked out!?'  
  
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~End of Part One~ 


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